I Just Used My Toddler’s Toothpaste

It was late at night and way past my bedtime and if that isn’t testament enough to how tired I am, you should know that I noticed what I was doing halfway through squeezing the tube and I just kept going. I didn’t care. I have no idea what kind of fruity-bubblegumy flavor it’s supposed to be but it wasn’t half bad. I see why my toddler tries to suck it of the bristles as soon as I put the brush in her mouth.

Why am I so tired?

THANK YOU FOR ASKING.

My 6 month old just doesn’t sleep. I don’t know how this baby functions on his 30 min naps, he isn’t tired or grumpy in the least. He THRIVES. You should see him in his jumparoo. He’ll look you dead in the eye and bounce with the ferocity of 10,000 Tiggers, drool dripping from his lips before flinging through the air in slow motion. He’s taunting me. I’ve tried everything to get him to sleep longer. EVERYTHING. I’m about >this< close to trying to put whiskey on my nipples before he breastfeeds. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep this up, luckily he has taken a few longer naps of late so I am holding on hope that he too can no longer be substantiated on so little sleep.

Anyway, I went to the dentist today for a cleaning and it was my first one in almost ten years. (I know, I’m disgusting, but there is barely enough Valium in the world to get me into a dentist’s chair.) Before leaving the dentist said “It’s not bad in there, keep up the good work.” Which is the nicest thing someone in the dental field has ever said to me so I guess I’m going to continue using the bright pink toothpaste.

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